Cough drops, crocs, and Christ

That is me list of all I need for the day. Cough drops, because living in close proximity with a bunch of other people lead ti icky sickness. Crocs because I don't believe it will ever stop raining, EVER. Christ because He is the only one who will be able to get me through these next few days and weeks. I need to learn to lean on Him like I never have before. I need to be constantly reminded of that through daily struggles but it is good for me. Like the songs states "I will stumble, I will fall down, but I will not be moved". I have my resolve set now to flee from whatever temptation come my way. I'm sick of waiting and praying for God to come save me and yet not doing anything about it at all. He gives me opportunities to get out of my trouble but I just push them to the side without a second glance. He has given me AMAZING friends that at this point are beyond words. Yet I have been stubborn, refusing to listen to them because I believe I can do things on my own.

I am wrong. I am desperately wrong. There is nothing I can do without Christ my Savior and to not recognize that fact would be devastating. I need to turn and run to Him with all my hurt, distrust, loneliness, desperation, and rejection for He is the only one who can meet my needs. Worldly things cannot help me deal with these problems and I must learn to face my fears and trials face to face, and with God at my side. I must also put faith in my friends whom God has placed in my life to give me help along the way with whatever challenge I am facing.

I am reminded of the sermon that Paster Mark preached yesterday. How we must answer the 3 "Really Big" questions before we even consider the three "Pretty Big" questions. I realized that this is very true in my own life and I need a refocusing of sorts.

But chemistry class is calling and so is my stomach, but I'm almost out of granola bars. meh. I'll have to start getting up earlier to make oatmeal. Which is ok.

I guess.

Keyboard Dreams

If only life had a backspace button....
Today has been an interesting day. I've been a complete jerk and a fool to a lot of my friends for which I am very very sorry. Me and mood swings don't really get along but that is no excuse for acting like I did. Thankfully now though I have had ANOTHER mood swing (yes, I'm insane today) and am on the upside of things. I'm pretty bored right now because for the past 2 hours all I've been doing is reading english and history...meh. I think I'm going to work on some Chemistry problems now because they make me happy :D And pretty soon it is open hours and hopefully I'll either go hang out with friends or they will come chill over here with me. But we'll have to see.

Its raining, its pouring.....

And I am none too happy about it. First off, my car leaks through the hood so right about now I probably have 1/2-2" of water on the floor of the passenger seat. And I'm supposed to be going into Jackson today.....fun. Plus the rain just makes it gloomy out. I woke up in a great mood and now it has been ruined. Oh well, such is life.

Last night was amazing. My roomie and I went mudsliding which turned out to be more like us rolling around in the wet grass (we couldn't find any mud) and getting soaked. Then, in honor of ANTM we did our own little photo shoot. Can you say epic? It was hilarious and to passersby we probably looked like crazy people as we stood on our head and rubbed our hair in the grass. But all the crazy looks were so worth it. My roomie is the best and I LOVE spending time doing crazy stuff with her. Once we got back we had a shower race and then we just chilled and looked at hair dye :D And we capped off the evening with the X-men movie, which we will probably have to finish tonight. Thank God for sweet roommates!

But now it is morning again and my once chipper mood is quickly sinking. I went to bed at 2:00 and woke up around 9 which was no fun. I really wish I could sleep more but its not meant to be. I'm kinda sad and lonely right now because Allie is still sleeping and nobody is up yet. I don't like being alone.

Well I have things I need to do......

A Brand New Day

Things are better this morning. Though I still feels sick as a dog at least I made it through the night, mostly by the help of an amazing friend. I have been praying that God would give me a way out lately and He has been faithful in doing just that. But I am also learning that God is not going to give me a "get out of jail free " card. He wants me to fight, to struggle, to learn what it is like to depend on Him for my strength. And let me just say, it has never been harder. But He never leaves me alone, He is always be my side ready to step in front of the train that is headed towards my life as soon as I give the word. Some days that is easier than others, and hopefully today won't be as much of a challenge. But that is my reflection for this early morning and hopefully it isn't too tainted with the lack of coherence that has resulted from being sick.

I have class in a few minutes and I haven't eaten yet. Or looked in the mirror, or done much of anything.....

Struggling

Tonight is rough so far. Class was okay, just long. Now my mood is going haywire though. Its no fun....its all I can to sit here and focus on breathing. So I better so that....

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour

Last time I was here I was tired and bored. Today is pretty much the same but not so much tired. I have had very little homework and as nice as that is it's also a bit frustrating. Right now the only homework I have is to read 1 chapter (30 pages) of my history book to prepare for a quiz NEXT Thursday. I am trying to get some work done on Chemistry as well since we have an exam next week and, even though he hasn't assigned anything, I'm sure I will need to study. But other than that life is good. I had a theater club meeting tonight as well as a housing crew meeting. I'm excited for theater to get moving this semester with auditions for the fall play in 2 weeks. Its going to be amazing. Anyways, I'm bored but I guess I might as well do some more Chemistry and read before I hit the sack. ugh

But before I go I want to let you know God is awesome. He gets you through EVERYTHING no matter how great or how small. And he overlooks your past which is amazing. Think of it this way. You might remember every little mistake you have made and sin you have done in the past but if you ask God "How can you love me when I did "this"?" His only response it "What are you talking about?" He doesn't remember, He has completely erased and forgotten it all because of the blood of His son Jesus. And when you tell Him that you have scars think of the fact that He knows, and He sees you as completely keepable anyways.....and then Jesus takes you into His arms and whispers "I have scars too......"

Bed time

well not really. But I've learned today that sitting in bed and IMing with a blanket over you and your teddy bear by your side equal a very sleepy Rachel. But I'm fighting the urge to nap by talking with friends and its nice to just relax and chill. Soon enough the semester will get very busy and I won't have this kind of down time.